I’ve got a date tonight. I haven’t yet introduced Richie Rich to you so I need to do this before I run home later and tell you about my evening with him.
Yes, he’s another app man, I think all my men are going to be app men if I’m honest so should I bother telling you that bit from now on?? This time Tinder. Even though I very rarely “like” anyone on these apps, I can definitely say I’m less obliged to swipe right on Tinder. I’ve not had the best of luck with this app, the usual messages I get are “Hi”, “U ok?” and I even got asked if I wanted to sit on someones face once. He let himself down there though as he didn’t even tell me his name. Bad move.
All I needed to see on Richie’s profile was 6ft 6 and my finger uncontrollably swiped right without my brain having a conversation with my eyes. It then went one step further and took it upon itself to write a message full of banter and pressing send (As you can see I’m not afraid of sending the first message). He replied within what seemed like 30 seconds. Not sure if that’s being too keen or what?? Our conversation was ok and within a few days he asked me out for a drink. At this point I usually would have panicked but luckily for me I’m challenging myself this month to just drinking water so I had a brilliant excuse to say “Sorry, I can’t”. So, then he offers that we go for a walk somewhere nice. Hmm, Should I go for walks with strangers?? (Do you see what I do.. two brilliant excuses already). Do I just want a text relationship, would that suffice do you think?? We’ll just get married over the phone y’know, easy. Isn’t that what happens on Catfish??
Anyway, back to the subject. I actually found it quite charming that he would think of something different to do so we don’t have to sit in a pub and drink water. Points awarded to you Richie. A few weeks go by and our schedules just haven’t allowed us to meet for this walk and so he texts and tells me he’s taking me to dinner so I need to pick a day and a venue.
Richie is quite clearly very tall. He’s a tradesman, works within the family business (which he’ll soon be fully taking over) blowing up buildings or something like that. He also saves the occassional family of bats which live in the roofs of the houses he demolishes and he likes circuits (Where you run around a room or a field doing different exercises for an hour or so). He’s got a garden the size of my street and his brother has just moved to Australia which he is very upset about (Me too! But mines more jealousy) so he’s shown he’s quite sensitive too (not a trait I’m overly keen on being shown before we’ve met) but he has interesting conversation which I’m very much a fan of.
Here is my dilemma, because we’ve taken so long to meet, this has given me ample opportunity to ninja stalk the guy. I’ve now worked out that I’m not overly attracted to him (in his photo’s anyway), he’s got a big nose, a receding hairline and it looks as though he only broke up from a long-term loving relationship last month!!! Oh, and he’s wealthy, quite wealthy from what I can tell and now I’m going out for dinner with him. To a standard italian restaurant and I can only drink water. Nothing else to calm the nerves, not a glass of wine or a shot of Vodka or anything.
I haven’t got the worst bristolian accent but it’s there, I have manners but absolutely no etiquette and what if I drop sauce all over me (because that always happens). He wants to meet me somewhere for a drink before but I can’t really go in to a bar and ask for “tap water please”. I’m trying not to think about all of these little things, the nerves will pass after 5 seconds of meeting him and I’ve done this before. It’s easy! Eeeeh, Perhaps it’s not nerves, perhaps I’m actually sick. I mean I couldn’t possibly pass it on to him, should I cancel??
No C, You can do this. It’s easy.
Wish me luck,