Today is going to be a day of change.. update coming later.
But I need some opinions.. At the moment this blog is anonymous. It’s anonymous because there are things I write about that some people in my life probably wouldn’t appreciate (like the sex talk etc). I’m also new to this and I don’t yet have my flow (if you can put it that way).
I’ve always really wanted to write about a journey, usually Health and fitness or diet or how to love yourself etc. Something that would benefit others. So I’m thinking.. and I need your thoughts and opinions etc.. of showing myself.
I joined the gym today. I want to get fit, I want to blog about it and have inspiration to keep me at it. I want feedback and advice and whatever anyone else wants to give me. I want to share pictures and goals. I want you all to join me on this and I can’t do that if anonymous.
So, do I just keep this anonymous and create a new blog or shall I be brave and show myself?
If you’ve read through my other posts you will know that I am on the new craze of ‘Dating Apps’. Although it’s not my craze in the slightest. My negativity towards them is probably the reason why it’s not been too successful for me.
The problem we’re facing today is that it is far too hard to go out to a bar and meet a guy, get chatting and live happily ever after. Yes, I do sometimes wish I was from my grand parents generation but I’m not and I have to deal with that.
The reason it’s so hard to find that guy in a bar is because this generation is about drinking as much as possible, getting free and loose, going home together and then never seeing that person again. Unless you bump into them in the local supermarket and run as fast as you can to finish your shopping before they notice you and the mounds of chocolate you’re buying so you can cry yourself away whilst swiping left and right at home on the said Dating Apps trying to find your husband.
Ok, excuse my miserable old lady approach, it’s not impossible. My best friend has this amazing knack of making every man fall in love with her whether she makes him wait for the special moment or not. But we aren’t all magic like her unfortunately (and she does attract some nutters!!) and the reason this happens is because she’s f**king awesome and I wouldn’t have her any other way.
But me, I really don’t enjoy it. The awkward first messages, the deciding if he’s worth a date, the awkward first date etc. I try, I try again and then I give up for a few months and then I try again.
I’d love to see other girls profiles, see what my competition is. See if my photo’s are too boring, or my bio is too long (if they even read it). Reading this post though it’s probably because I’m so bloody negative. I promise there’s not always this dark cloud above my head.
But today I was on one of my “Yes this could be fun approaches”. So I reactivated an older profile which I’d blocked and whilst having a browse I came across a guys profile which made me laugh out loud. Not laugh with a “he needs to buy me a rum and coke NOW”, but a “Are you serious!!!” kind of laugh.
He was bold, chubby (maybe a little more fat than chubby but I’m trying to be polite). He wasn’t bad looking, I would have put him more on the cute spectrum rather than hot though. His job wasn’t that exciting and his bio was a bit boring but one line did stand out. He was explaining the people that he doesn’t want to message him. Anyone over size 14 isn’t welcome to engage with him. He didn’t mean it nasty, so he says, but he just thinks he needs to get that straight before he wastes any ones time. Look mate, you didn’t need to say that. You could easily just approach it, if you’re ever lucky enough to get any message from a beautiful curvy Size 16, by just not responding. To be honest though with your lack of brain cells I’m wondering if you’re getting a size 14 mixed up with a Size 6. Did you know H & M Jeans are usually 2 sizes smaller? Are you aware that big busted girls might have a size 12 bottom but a size 16 top half. No you didn’t did you. I wouldn’t have paid any attention to this comment if he was a gorgeous David Beckham lookalike but he really shouldn’t be being picky. Good luck in finding your supermodel mate. I really do hope you have a personality somewhere inside that soul of yours.
On a more positive note, he did open my eyes and make me realise that maybe I shouldn’t be as fussy either. So on that note, thanks dude. Where you failed.. I accomplished 🙂
Night all, I’m off to find my fish in the sea of Great White Sharks.
Many thanks to Patricia Cox (Click here for her wonderful blog) for nominating me with this challenge. I’m new to writing and blogging so it’s always a confidence boost when other bloggers notice and give lovely feedback.
Day 1’s Quote is about Karma and I am whole heartedly focusing on only the good kinds of karma.
The reason I’ve chosen to focus on this subject is because this world (and 2016) need a bit of a positive boost, people need some encouragement to be nice and basically just because good people make me happy!
A few days ago I had an expensive order shipped to me twice, I didn’t pay for it twice it was just a mess up at the office and I ended up with 2 of the same order. Too many people were pressuring me into keeping quiet and selling it on to make some money. Obviously I didn’t listen. Instead, I called the company, let them know what had happened and they arranged for one of the items to be collected the following morning. They were so very grateful that I’d done this and complimented me on my honesty as “You don’t find many like me anymore”. I didn’t expect them to behave with such shock but the fact they were so grateful made me feel great about myself. A few hours later I received an email from the young lady I’d spoken to. I’d explained when I spoke to her on the phone that I couldn’t be dishonest as I believe in karma and I have a friendship with the universe etc. The company had decided that as a thank you and to prove that my theory of good karma exists, they were sending me a box full of fantastic goodies. At the bottom of the email read…
You see the universe works like this.. What you send out, you get back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Radiate and give love and it will come straight back to you.
So I’m going to nominate the following to join in on this challenge. Chosen because their blogs radiate good vibes and they’re part of the Universe’s tribe.
Today’s daily prompt is either a coincidence or a sign. Being the spiritual believer that I am, I’m taking it as a sign. Although most people will say it’s just a coincidence.
You’ve all learnt about Mr Interview, he’s a FWB kind of guy and I should never get into this situation thinking anything different. I’ve been meaning to share more about this man for a few days but I’ll admit.. I’ve been scared of people’s opinions and judgement. I know I’m anonymous but I grew up believing people should respect themselves and not be so easy to catch etc etc. It’s never got me anywhere and we all have needs don’t we? And I need this man. Hang on let me rephrase that, I don’t need a man but this man… I asked for him, they sent me him and now I have to make the most of the gift I’ve been given before it gets taken away. It’s called spiritual awareness.
So I’m braving it and I’m Daring to enter his world and also Daring to share it with this world.
We’ll start from the next chapter.. When the photo’s started. For a while it’s just been him sharing. He shares and he asks for my opinion always. Sometimes on what I think of him, sometimes on what I think of his hair, sometimes what I think of his body. But he’s always looking for compliments. Maybe he isn’t as confident as he makes out.
I finally played along and returned the favour, yet mine were more classy. Skin on show but nothing too personal. He complimented me but I didn’t need complimenting, maybe I’m more confident than I make out as I wouldn’t have sent the pic if I didnt think it looked good! Since then I’ve sent a few more discreet ones, then the last few have been more intimate and the other day I bared all (Excluding the face). He excites me, he keeps me on my toes and he’s so beautiful my ovaries hurt (A phrase my best friend uses all of time but I’ve never experienced the feeling until now. We’ve almost met on 3 occasions but each time something has got in the way, I’m starting to think he is all talk. By meet I mean, I’ll go to his, we’ll do the deed and then I’ll leave. I can’t emotionally engage with him, once oxytocin has released in my brain I need to scuttle because I do not need oxytocin to engage with this man in any way shape or form.
He’s also asked me my thoughts on open relationships and would I be willing to embark on something like this. My answer was No.. If I am in a relationship I don’t want to share him and so I asked him if he wouldn’t be atall worried that I’d catch feelings for the other guy.. His response was “You wouldn’t have time, I’d allow you to sleep with someone else if you found them attractive but you’d be straight back here to engage with me on an emotional level afterwards”. Mr Grey eat your heart out??!!
You can all cast your judgement on me, but we are living in a generation of fun-loving youngsters where behaviour that your grandparents would turn in their graves over has become acceptable. The girls are behaving like the guys, which to me isn’t a bad thing but the girls are still being scrutinised for this and the guys are still being high-fived for the same behaviour. Things need to change. Life has changed and as much as I want respect I also want to be given the chance to respect them back. It’s called balance. As long as we set the boundaries and the rules at the beginning then the level of respect towards each other is equal.
One of my favourite pastimes is people watching. Whether it’s sitting in a coffee shop (which is where I am now), or sitting in traffic or in a crowded park. There is just something fascinating about watching other people. I like to make up stories in my head about their lives and what they’re doing. Are they on a date? Are they work colleagues? Are they having a affair and he’s meeting his Mrs Jones for their thing that they got going on (one of my favourite songs ever by the way).
I’m currently sharing this coffee shop moment with the following (and remember this is head thoughts so please don’t be spreading rumours) :-
Ronda and Keith – Husband and wife.. Married for centuries. He’s just found technology, she’s just found peace and quiet. Wouldn’t know what to do without each other but have ran out of conversation.
Danny and his Mother and Daughter – It’s a daddy and daughter day. I reckon he’s a single father. He’s got a coffee date with his mother so she can still keep in contact with her precious granddaughter that her ex daughter in law doesn’t want her to see.
Emma and Sean – They are definitely on a date!! Instinct is kicking in here. Maybe a 2nd or 3rd date as they seem to know each other a little already. She’s brought her baby with her, he’s trying to pretend he isn’t scared of it (I can’t work out if its a boy or a girl sorry). They don’t suit in the slightest. He’s a handsome mixed race sporty guy and she’s a plain Jane kind of girl but he’s definitely into her. I like this love story.
The corporate team meeting – These are actually sat on the table next to me so I’m enjoying earwigging. I’m a woman, I can multitask. So there is 1 man (he’s the boss), and 2 women. The women are complaining about another female member of the team. It all sounds silly to me so god knows what it sounds like to him. He’s looking at me more than he’s listening to them anyway. It might be because I look great today but it could also be that he knows he’s my inspiration today.
There’s many more people to watch here, out of control children being chased by their frustrated mothers, friends complaining about their husbands and workmen reading the latest newspapers but I’m pretty sure page 3 doesn’t take that long to read. Lastly their is a girl in the corner, with a latte ( just like me), and a laptop and she’s scanning the place. She’s definitely another one of me, thinking the same as me and writing the same as me. She’s just grinned … She knows that she is the same as me. I nod my head to let her know I acknowledge this and we happily go back to writing about the world and the people as we see it.