Dating App Crap

If you’ve read through my other posts you will know that I am on the new craze of ‘Dating Apps’. Although it’s not my craze in the slightest. My negativity towards them is probably the reason why it’s not been too successful for me.

The problem we’re facing today is that it is far too hard to go out to a bar and meet a guy, get chatting and live happily ever after. Yes, I do sometimes wish I was from my grand parents generation but I’m not and I have to deal with that.
The reason it’s so hard to find that guy in a bar is because this generation is about drinking as much as possible, getting free and loose, going home together and then never seeing that person again. Unless you bump into them in the local supermarket and run as fast as you can to finish your shopping before they notice you and the mounds of chocolate you’re buying so you can cry yourself away whilst swiping left and right at home on the said Dating Apps trying to find your husband.
Ok, excuse my miserable old lady approach, it’s not impossible. My best friend has this amazing knack of making every man fall in love with her whether she makes him wait for the special moment or not. But we aren’t all magic like her unfortunately (and she does attract some nutters!!) and the reason this happens is because she’s f**king awesome and I wouldn’t have her any other way.
But me, I really don’t enjoy it. The awkward first messages, the deciding if he’s worth a date, the awkward first date etc. I try, I try again and then I give up for a few months and then I try again.

I’d love to see other girls profiles, see what my competition is. See if my photo’s are too boring, or my bio is too long (if they even read it). Reading this post though it’s probably because I’m so bloody negative. I promise there’s not always this dark cloud above my head.
But today I was on one of my “Yes this could be fun approaches”. So I reactivated an older profile which I’d blocked and whilst having a browse I came across a guys profile which made me laugh out loud. Not laugh with a “he needs to buy me a rum and coke NOW”, but a “Are you serious!!!” kind of laugh.

He was bold, chubby (maybe a little more fat than chubby but I’m trying to be polite). He wasn’t bad looking, I would have put him more on the cute spectrum rather than hot though. His job wasn’t that exciting and his bio was a bit boring but one line did stand out. He was explaining the people that he doesn’t want to message him. Anyone over size 14 isn’t welcome to engage with him. He didn’t mean it nasty, so he says, but he just thinks he needs to get that straight before he wastes any ones time. Look mate, you didn’t need to say that. You could easily just approach it, if you’re ever lucky enough to get any message from a beautiful curvy Size 16, by just not responding. To be honest though with your lack of brain cells I’m wondering if you’re getting a size 14 mixed up with a Size 6. Did you know H & M Jeans are usually 2 sizes smaller? Are you aware that big busted girls might have a size 12 bottom but a size 16 top half. No you didn’t did you. I wouldn’t have paid any attention to this comment if he was a gorgeous David Beckham lookalike but he really shouldn’t be being picky. Good luck in finding your supermodel mate. I really do hope you have a personality somewhere inside that soul of yours.

On a more positive note, he did open my eyes and make me realise that maybe I shouldn’t be as fussy either. So on that note, thanks dude. Where you failed.. I accomplished 🙂

Night all, I’m off to find my fish in the sea of Great White Sharks.

C xx




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